My Economic Stimulous Plan, or Mike's Free Ride

Hello Dear Readers!

I'm resigned to the fact that I'm going to be a night behind the action for a while. It's just the way things are, there's a lot of TV to watch, and not and endless supply of time to watch it in. I haven't even gotten to the Big Bang Theory yet! And Survivor starts this week! How am I possibly going to be able to pull this off? I've got a plan. The blog's going pay-site- yup. I figure there's, what, like 3 of you that read this? maybe? We'll say there is. If each of you can pay, say, $30,000 a year, well that's a pretty comfortable living, and then I could concentrate full time on the blog. Of course I wouldn't work weekends, or holidays... and I couldn't be expected to put out more than 3 columns a week... but. Well, think it over, eh?

Where I started going with that is that I'm a day behind, and I'm learning to be OK with that. So today I blog about Hell's Kitchen. This was shown (and recorded by my DVR) as a two hour block, but it was really just two shows, and I only watched one -I know, this is the type of thing that could be remedied by my previously mentioned donation plan, I'm calling it "Mike's free ride". If you remember from last week -and honestly, I can't remember if I wrote about it or not- Gordie had sent small-mouth to the men's team. The men were not welcoming. Kevin was decidedly hostile -Kevin: "Suzanne, let's get one thing straight. We're not happy about this one bit. We don't like your attitude, and we don't like you." Ouch. He also told the camera that they would "rub her out, just like we rubbed out all the weak ones, we'll rub her out too"... umm, so what you're saying, Kevin, is that every time a weak chef is added to the team, you have to rub one out?

All right, all childishness aside, Suzanne VonSmallMouth actually seems to have taken the hint from everyone's stated dislike of her. She went full force into the blue team. They didn't really come around on her, granted -there were numerous shots of her trying to give input and the guys acting as though she wasn't there... like literally not there. But Blondie Blonderson was getting the same treatment on the women's side, so I'm not sure it's indicative of anything. Anywho, the chef's had to create three courses and use ingredients out of a pile of Pacific Northwest ingredients... but there was lamb, because you know, sheep just run wild up here in the northwest. So they made there meals and had some Olympic athletes (two of 'em... I don't know) come and determine which side did the bestest job -yeah, because if you want someone to judge food, get Olympic athletes, those people know their food!

So I think the blue team won, yeah, they did because the red team had to go to a farm and clean out the pig pen, a punishment Gord-o couldn't get out without laughing (he promptly told the blue team to stop laughing, cus you know, it's mean). So the blue team ate food somewhere and the red team cleaned out pig pens, and everyone smoked. (The Girlfriend is intrigued by this "Apparently 95% of chefs smoke" thing, maybe I can get her to guest blog about it... we'll see)

This was the dinner service where the chefs create their own menus and the guests order off of one or the other. In the past I remember the winning team being decided by how many people ordered off of each menu, but this season is officially off the rails, I don't think there are any rules anymore. The blue team ended up winning (Despite Van's inability to cook fish)... oh wait, they didn't win, both teams lost. But yeah, Van couldn't cook fish, and apparently doesn't do well under pressure (good choice of career). Funny he said he can't handle people yelling at him, but he's got -what appears to me- to be a blatant military haircut, and the military's all about the yelling, right?

So Van and Blondie Blonderson (she couldn't cook fish either, maybe it's not them maybe they got some kind of heat resistant Halibut) got put up, Van goes on a tirade and Blondie gets sent home... At the end of every episode, Chef does a little voice-over while he hangs up the chef's coat and their portrait bursts into flames... his voice over this week was priceless;
Gord-o: "Sabrina wanted to be the head chef at Whistler, now all she has to do is take those red lips and whistle her way out of here". Man Chef Ramsey can turn a phrase! You see, when she came in she had her red lipstick and her hair did, she was big bitch on the block... actually those are her words. yup.

All right, one last thing. Progressive commercials. I know there's only 4 of us (honestly, am I being overly optimistic?) but let's see what we can do about this, eh? Certainly we can each tell two people and they can tell two people and eventually we'll have that Flo lady finding another character to play. I was going to embed a Progressive commercial here, but after writing that sentence, I'm just too mad.

Also, two recommendations; 1) if you're ever going to watch an episode of Survivor, watch tonight, the first episode is always by far the best and 2) Find the Magic Bullet infomercial... that's it. do it. Stay with it. You'll thank me.