Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Brain injuries, American Idol, and Macreme earrings

American Idol top ummm... 8 Ladies? Is that right? Is this the last week before the top 12?

I think it's right, in truth, I only remember like 4 of them. Anyone who didn't know me could come upon this blog and think that I've suffered some sort of head injury, as I can never seem to remember what happened on TV the night before. I have nothing else to add.

Let's talk American Idol women! Ok, first off Crystal Bowersox was awesome. Also, you can't call her anything other than "Crystal Bowersox". I've tried. Can't be done. Don't even bother. She sang something good. I can't for the life of me remember what. Seriously, I'm a little concerned.

Weird girl... like legitimately weird girl, not "weird ass earrings middle class parents girl" -we'll get to her later. Weird girl sang "House of the Rising Sun". It was very good, it wasn't as good as last week when she sang -seriously, did you think I'd remember? all I remember is that she hit that crazy note at the end... Crazy!

"Weird ass earrings middle class parents girl" sang a Patsi Cline song... she likes Patsi Cline... of course she does. She also like Johnny Cash and old typewriters. I don't care. I also don't like her, and what's the deal with her macrame earrings?
The girl with red hair sang something. I thought she was good. The Fiance says she wears too much eye make-up. I... agree.

Didi Benimini sang a Fleetwood Mac song, I don't remember which one -surprise!- but it was very good. Really very good.

So that wraps up the American Idol women that I cared enough to -kind of- remember. You want a prediction? here you go; Two of the following three go home; Last black girl, 17 year old girl, and girl with a lot of curly hair. I'd like it to be 17 year-old and WAEMCPG, but that's probably not going to happen.

Here's a commercial that's been on a lot lately. I think it's brilliant.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Idol is CRAZY with surprises! Whoo! Surprises! Also, Friskies may or may not be providing your cat with recreational drugs.

So, Idol surprise: -We'll get to the cat thing later- the guys went tonight! See, that's a surprise because the girls were supposed to go except Crystal Bowersox had some kind of medical issue that rendered her unable to sing last night, but perfectly capable of singing today. I don't know.

So the guys got thrown onto the stage waving their sideways peace signs at the camera which was -apparently- being run by someone who was also surprised that they had to work last night... the cameraman took a solid five minutes to realize that you're supposed to avoid the tops of the audience members' heads. This resulted in a great Fiance moment: When the camera panned to Kara -who's chest was "blurred out" by the top of someone's head- The Fiance reacted with a very excited "Whaaaat?!". Guess you had to be there. Anyway, it turns out Kara wasn't topless, she was wearing one of Paula Abdul's old dresses. Zing! Seriously though, judging from last week and this week, by week seven Kara will have fully morphed into Paula. Mark my words! -side note: you should always be marking my words.

Well, apparently there were also some guys singing last night. I don't remember what order they went in, and -most disturbing of all- I don't remember the nicknames I gave them last week... so we'll have to come up with new ones.

What's that? No I can't go re-read my blog from last week!! Jesus!

I do remember that the first contestant to go was the largest man on the planet. Last week he had a very small guitar. This week he sang "It's a man's world", which contains the line "It wouldn't be nothin' without a woman or a girl"... here's the thing, James; I know you don't want to exclude any possibilities, but no one's holding you to this, you can go ahead and write the line so that it's not awkward.
Anyway, I thought it was going to be a train wreck. After all, James Brown was really more of a band leader than a singer (now, I know he sang, I'm just saying, he strength was putting together and leading a band, not singing... I'm a musician! You have to listen to me!). But old Mike "Contestant most likely to eat Ryan Seacrest" Whatever-his-last-name-is did a good job with it. The judges were all up in it.

I don't remember who went second, but I remember that the singer/dancer and the guy who threw the band under the bus both oversang their songs. And were annoying. TGWTTBUTB asked the judges -after they told him he picked the wrong song- which song he should pick next time... ugh.

Hair -the one who Kara has a creepy sort of crush on- has some kind of pre-show ritual involving something in a box that he's only going to tell us about if he makes the top ten. I don't care. He sang a song that other people have sung before. He plays a mean guitar. Did I say that I don't care?

Crystal Boy-ersox, aka the Dentist, aka His parents were in a gang! was bad this week. It hurts me to say it, but he was. I think he was trying to either a) lower expectations or b) make the judges realize that even if they don't particularly like the song he chooses to jazz up and play on acoustic guitar, they should shut up and enjoy it, because the alternative is much worse. Regardless, I think he's fine; his parents were in a gang! Maybe not even the same gang! We don't know!

"ABC family" and "Lucky to still be" here can be summed up in the following conversation between myself and the Fiance. -The Fiance was out of the room.

The Fiance: Is this the teenager?

Me: Nah, he went earlier... He sang 'my girl'

The Fiance: Dear God... How'd it go for him?

Me: It was like a guest appearance on 'Full House'

The Fiance- Good line, you should put that in your blog

Me: Oh, I will.

The Fiance: Who's singing then?

Me: It's the guy that got in cus the other guy got kicked out. I don't care about him really... Except that he's terrible.

Asian guy was boring.

Carrol Brady and 1995 were both really good. Also, they told a little bit about themselves, and it kinda worked on me. Carrol Brady gets real nervous before he goes on stage, or plays football. Also, he's from Texas, so he's tapping into my love of Friday Night Lights.

1995 has a stupid goatee. But he was a troubled kid who got sent to an alternative school and met a teacher he calls "Amy" -creepy! Who came to his audition with him -Even more creepy! He's kinda likable for a guy with a concealed weapons permit and douche-bag facial hair who certainly drives a car with a carbon-fiber hood on it.

Ok. I'm done. I think Asian Guy and "Lucky to still be" go home. Also I think Kara develops an addiction to prescription drugs, struggles to stay awake for the rest of the season and has a "comeback" performance mid season next year.

Additional thought: I saw everyone's favorite dreamboat Robert Pattison on the Daily Show last night (actually it was this morning, stay out of my business!) and I'm pretty sure he's dead. Not in a "150 year old dreamboat vampire" way, but in a "being animated through a series of electrical pulses" sort of way.

Either way, I think I need more you-tube clips in my blogs, this aired during the Olympics and begs the question: What?