End of Decade List

So I called it my "End of Decade" list because I really wanted it to have that "End of Decade" punch, but here's the thing; whether it's an "End of Decade" list or an "End of Year" list really depends on what I do next year, right? I mean, if I do something strikingly similar, then this is going to kind of feel like an "End of Year" list, but if I wait 10 years before doing another list (impossible, we'll all be dead by then... 2012 People! It's in the Bible) then this will seem like an "End of Decade" list... it's a tough call. Regardless, with the end of the decade fast approaching everyone's clamoring over each other to list things and as the list of "End of Decade" lists got longer, I found myself thinking "What?! Do they think they're better than Me?!"

So without further ado, here's my list of 100 things!

100. Lime Juice - if orange juice and lemon juice came to a party, and they had a child and you were like "That child could be theirs, or it could be adopted, it's hard to call also it's good on Mexican food." that child would be lime juice.
     
99. Spaceships
    
98. Racket Balls - When I was a kid, I loved racket balls... don't know why, maybe it was the blue, maybe it was the rubber, maybe it was because when you open a can of them they smell like old fake peanuts.
    
97. Toothpaste
    
96. Canned Tomatoes
    
95. Retirement Plans
    
94. Third Base –The second most advantageous place to be, offensively, in baseball. Also slang for an arguable array of adolescent sexual conquests.
    
93. Texas
    
92. John Leguizamo - The Jerk... Well, that's all I can think of. I know he did other stuff, no time for a trip to IMDb though, I've got 97 more items on this list!
    
91. Mid-day
    
90. Ontario (Canadian province)
    
89. Ontario (California)
    
88. Horse-Diving –Remember that movie about the girl who went blind from horse high-diving? Also, remember in Braveheart when he jumped the horse into the moat? Awesome.
    
87. The color red - the go to color for things that you want in red. less effective for things that you want in green.
    
86. Operation
    
85. “Softly”
    
84. Flatware
    
83. 67
    
82. Name Tags - the world’s second most efficient name delivery device.
    
81. Time
    
80. The Concept of “Time” –yeah, you’d think I’d have something to say about this, I don’t.
    
79. Tree Frogs
    
78. Questions - Seriously, where would my blog be without them? Where would my life be without them? Where would any of our lives be without them?
    
77. Textiles
    
76. Fairhaven
    
75. Mayan Calendar- More date combinations than Heidi Fleiss -Zing! Take that mid 90's pop culture reference and "Hollywood Madam"! I certainly took her down a peg. Also it predicts the grisly end of the human race or something.
    
74. Queen Victoria
    
73. Jell-O
    
72. Existence
    
71. Trains
    
70. The Dodge Challenger - Honestly, I don't know much about it, but it's a thing. This is a long list of things.
    
69. Pineapple
    
68. Heidi Fleiss - Hmm. Heidi Fleiss beat out the very thing with which I zinged her -on my own list of things. Now I've been taken down a peg.
    
67. Text
    
66. Murphy Brown –Sass by the boatload!
    
65. Extreme Sports
    
64. Quitting - Constant companion, always whispering in my ear that there is a better way.
    
63. Doing things half assed -A little more work than quitting, but can often be played off as "an honest effort"
    
62. Murderous Rampages
    
61. IMDb - Honestly, if my blog came with a bibliography, it would look like this:
    
    1. IMDb.com
    2. Mike's Big Book of Made Up Stuff
    
    Also, it would be incorrectly formatted.
    
60. Bunny Rabbits
    
59. Sticky Notes
    
58. Patagonia (The region of Argentina)
    
57. They Might Be Giants –Nothing in particular about them… I was just reading an interview with John Flansburgh (he’s in TMBG) and I thought to myself; “I like them”.
    
56. Contextualizing things
    
55. Facing your own mortality –more difficult, but ultimately more rewarding than facing someone else’s mortality.
    
54. Actions –Particularly the ones that “speak louder than words”
    
53. Old Timey Bicycles
    
52. Terms of Service - the second least read collection of words in the English language. The first; Sarah Palin's Going Rouge. -I know what I wrote.
    
51. People that think they’re better than their old man
    
50. People that think they’re better than me
    
49. People that think they’re too good for conventional fabrics
    
48. Adolescents that think they’re too cool to be dropped off by Mom in front of their school.
    
47. Sarah Palin - in 2008 she proved that "I'll be more attractive than your average fat old white guy" was a valid campaign promise. Also she was zinged by me on thing # 52.
    
46. Nature
    
45. Any list that involves a run on “people that think they’re better than, or too good for, something”
    
44. Accents –Not the talky kind, the kind that tie a room together
    
43. Accents –The talky kind
    
42. Eternal Youth
    
41. Sandals - One thing's for sure; they cover less of your feet than conventional shoes!
    
40. People that hold steadfast to music that anyone in their 30's probably listened to and liked at some point, but we should all be ashamed of.
    
39. People that use jokes about their friend's musical tastes to advance their blog's dumb "End of Something" list
    
38. The US Postal Service
    
37. Calvin urinating on things
    
36. Cincinnati - considered to have been the first American boomtown in the heart of the country in the early nineteenth century to rival the larger coastal cities in size and wealth.
    
35. Kayaks
    
34. James Taylor
    
33. James Gandolfini
    
32. Pregnancy – The most effective way to propagate our species. The Second most effective? Destroy the Mayan Calendar and avoid the destruction it promises.
    
31. Nostalgia –The #1 way to make things better than they were.
    
30. Patriotism –Best if it’s misdirected.
    
29. Thresholds
    
28. The word “Labradoodle”
    
27. Kirk Cameron –If there’s anything better than regular faith-based passive aggressive conversion campaigns, it’s cleverly organized faith-based passive-aggressive conversion campaigns to be carried out on college campuses nation-wide. Also, he was in Growing Pains with Boner.
    
26. Boner –Not like that! Jesus!
    
25. Low Hanging Fruit
    
24. Synergy
    
23. Trespassing
    
22. Exact Matches
    
21. Acronyms
    
20. The Blues – “The Blues isn’t about making yourself feel better, it’s about making other people feel worse” –Bleeding Gums Murphy (may not be true). Also, it’s a nice portion of the color spectrum.
    
19. The Anasazi
    
18. Chewing Gum
    
17. The Wikipedia page for “Spells in Harry Potter”
    
16. Dentistry
    
15. WikiHow
    
14. Pottery –You ask; “What has pottery done for me?” I ask; “What hasn’t pottery done for you?”
    
13. The Volkswagen Thing –Apparently it’s known in the United Kingdom as the “Trekker”… so am I.
    
12. Canaries
    
11. "Feathery"
    
10. Personification –There are a lot of things. If you’re going to make something something else, why not a person?
    
9. Wood –A major component in wooden boats, wooden houses, woods, etc…
   
8. Weightlessness –I’ve never experienced it myself… but it seems pretty cool, no?
   
7. The grisly end of the human race –As discussed in thing #75. What would the Mayan calendar, the book of Revelations, Nostradamus, and the Discovery Channel do without it?
   
6. Hyperbole –The unrivaled absolute champion for delivery of anecdotes… Unrivaled
   
5. Jesus –Some people think he’s God in human form, some people think he’s just a guy. Something everyone can agree on; He -at the very least- exists as a concept.
   
4. Me –Yes, I beat out Jesus… well it’s my list, isn’t it?!
   
3. Inconsistency –Like, say, listing 100 things as though they have no rank or meaning, then occasionally commenting on one thing ranking higher than another thing.
   
2. “End of something” lists –There’s no better way to sum up a period of time than a hastily put together list.
   
1. The Fiancé –Call it a self serving #1 on my list of things, I don’t care. Call it “sappy” or “Persian” or "elegant", even “exemplary” I don’t care. You don’t like it, get your own list.

I sincerely thank all three of you for reading! Happy New Year!