American Idolatry

First...

I'll admit it. Doogal broke me. It's still sitting on my entertainment center. I'm too ashamed to even mail it back to Netflix. I will hang my head low.

Ok, done with that (honestly, I didn't think I was going to make it past the first) on to the next thing: American Idol!

We're like a month in at this point, and have started in with the standard show mechanics. Singers sing, Judges judge, and America Americizes. Since there's a mammoth 24 contestants, and there's no way that the show could fit 24 contestants performing for a minute each into 120 minutes and leave time for commercials -I'm actually accepting the commercials as a given... I know how things work. It's the Idol filler that I'm directing my sarcasm at.

So the round up of the girls is as follows; Well, it's actually a pretty uninspiring group. There's the one blonde girl with two incarnations -like on Heros... remember that whole thing? Seriously, what kind of super-power is "My reflection in the mirror is another sentient being"? it doesn't make any sense. But there's those two girls. Their performances didn't matter... one of them sang Heart -will people please stop singing Heart? Please? They suck. No one does a good job with the songs. Stop. I don't remember what the other one sang, but it didn't matter.

You've got super young black-girl-who-sings-country. While we're here... I kind of think this may have been an ingenious plot to get her on the show. See, here's the thing; she doesn't sing country! She's had, what? 8-9 performances and one of them was country. one. That doesn't make her a country singer and more than the fact that my Pad Thai last night had tofu in it makes me a vegetarian. Also. She sucks. I think she'll be around for a while though... mark my words.

There's Andie McDowell and her "my parents are divorced" sob story... doesn't work. There's gigantic dangley bird earrings girl... she's the one with the gigantic dangley bird themed earrings. She's actually all right... I don't want to like her, but she's all right.

There's "80's movie 'weird' girl who gets made over by a popular girl and is suddenly 'hot' but in reality is just the weird girl wearing makeup"... I thought she did OK. Also, she didn't know what "Dark Horse" meant.

You've got "I can't think of a clever name for her" girl from Massachusetts. And 17 year old... there's one in every show. I didn't see the girl with the bright red hair, but the judges thought she was "pitchy". I don't remember Paige Miles... the other black girl. There's curly haired half-black girl, she sang "falling", she did a good job, she's very attractive. That's it for her.

And finally, my call for "by the end of the season she'll be remembered as my favorite". Crystal Bowersox. Pros: Her name's Crystal Bowersox; She's legitimately talented; She actually seems like she hasn't been watching Idol since she was three... as apposed to the contestants that want to seem like they're out-of-the-mainstream "street" performers, but whose clearly middle class parents are in the audience -I'm looking at you, Dangley bird girl; also her kid is adorable. Cons (yeah, I'd forgotten what we were doing too); She's got dreads. Really that's it. I didn't think she did so good with the harmonica this time, but I won't call that a "con". I really hate white-kid dreads, but do I hate them enough to overcome my general liking of all things Bowersox? I don't think so.

Tonight, the men... there's some winners in this group... I'm looking forward to it (I'm mostly looking forward to the guy with the crazy thick glasses... I'm going to call him "Dentist" because he reminds me of a dentist)

More tomorrow (right like you can believe any promise I make)