All right, so gay is a reoccurring theme in my blogs, but I only hold up a mirror to the TV... it is TV that relies on people's sexuality to create interest where otherwise there would be none!
So Dan on Design star isn't overtly gay, fine, I'm one dimensional. Still this week's design star brought it down to Dan, Antonio, and dull woman #2 -guess who goes home. Correct, but I'll get there later. This week's challenge had the designers making over celebrity rooms. It's funny, I don't remember the exact wording, but they made a point of leaving the type of room generic, but it just as easily could have been "the designers make over the guest bedrooms of celebrities, except Kathy Griffin, she wants an office or something. Also, she's not a celebrity". But really, none of them were.
So to pick the celebrities -and they do this to choose a number of things on Design Star. It's been something that's troubled me before, but I already write 98,000 word blogs, I've got to leave some stuff out. So, to pick which designer gets which celebrity, the designers each stand behind a stool with a can of paint on it (you know, cus it's a design show) and they lift up their lids to determine who they get. Here's the thing that bothers me; every time they show this, the designers are just standing behind their paint cans. You never see them go over and select a paint can. So this leaves me with a strong feeling that they are only creating the illusion of this being a random selection. I'm pretty sure it's all planned out (I know, everyone reading this is saying "duh, Mike... moron". But you're the one talking out loud. I can't hear you, who's the moron now?!).
So the Celeb-Designer combos end up like this; Dull Woman #2 gets Kelly Kapowski from Saved by the Bell. Kelly wants an eco-friendly make-over for her room. There' s no sense in repeating myself, if you care about my thoughts on "eco-friendly makeovers" go here -It's about half way down. It's only like two sentences, but I'm really thrilled I get to reference one of my past blogs, I feel like this is a milestone for me. So Dull Woman makes the room all eco-friendly, and does her signature "One wall has a pattern that repeats vertically". Honestly, I thought it was kind of cool, but it's been done... by her... a few times. Also, too much grass wall-paper, and she didn't have enough time to hang her headboard.
Dan "I'm probably gay, but if I said I wasn't your response would be 'really?' as apposed to a sarcastic 'Yeah, I'm sure you're not'" -umm, I'll be honest, I was going for the First-name "kinda funny description of the person" Last-name thing, but the whole idea was shortsighted on my part, as I don't know his last name. Regardless, I think you get my point. Anyway, he got Brandon from 90210 -I think his character's name was Brandon, I didn't watch as much 90210 as I did Saved by the Bell in my formative years; It's Jason Priestly, whoever he was on 90210. So Dan got whoever Jason Priestly was on 90210 and his very pregnant and oddly accented wife -The girlfriend and I had a discussion about where her accent came from... the girlfriend was arguing "Britain, maybe Australia?" I was arguing "The land of make-believe". They wanted their guestroom made into a nursery with a "nautical, Cape Cod theme". So he painted it blue and hung abstract boat frames from the ceiling - naturally.
Finally Antonio got Kathy Griffin and all of her craziness. Apparently she has three employees. Yeah, and she said it pretty much exactly like that "I have three employees". Apparently it takes three people to manage the media circus that is Kathy Griffin's career. Furthermore, they work in her house. So Antonio made some desks and -according to Vern Yip- decorated like a hobbit (but seriously, these days, who isn't decorating like a hobbit?). Also, there was a metal cutout of America at the front of the room so that they could plot out her tour schedule -"You'll do a show in Topeka, then come home, then a week in Bakersfield!". Lastly, he had 6 clocks on her wall all in different time zones -No snarky comment, just tossing up that meatball for you.
So they all hosted their spaces, Antonio was great, Dull Woman #2 was decent, Dan was awful, how awful? If you've ever watched "More to Love" you've no doubt noticed the heavy-set British woman who comes in at the elimination ceremony, says something along the lines of "there are three rings left", then leaves. Dan could not do that job. That's how bad his hosting was.
So Dull Woman #2 got sent home. I think it was mainly due to the headboard, but I can't say for sure as my omnipotence is failing me today.
Remember these commercials? Oh the glory days!
Showing posts with label Design Star. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Design Star. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Bloging on the weekend gave me the flu.
Well, that's pretty clear, right?
I know, logic dictates that if I'm sitting at home all day on the couch, I should be able to throw some witty observations together, embed a clever YouTube clip and call it good. Logic dictates as much, but I do what I want!
So I've watched some stuff lately. The Girlfriend and I went to see Julie and Julia (or Julia and Julie... I don't know). It was OK. I thought about writing about it, but I don't care. So there you are. I will say this: Meryl Streep may be the best actor we have right now. Her half was incredible. The other half... not so much. It was all about some self absorbed nobody with such a complete misunderstanding of her place in the world that she thought people actually cared about her blog... oh.
Also, Design Star was on Sunday night, of course I didn't watch it until Monday because of aforementioned flu -yet I'm writing through the flu right now... I'm like Micheal Jordan! Anyway, it was a really boring episode... like really boring. Here's what I got: Dull woman #1 (or#2, I don't remember! The one that had to have been in weird Texan child beauty pageants as a young girl) Dull woman #1 got the boot. She was up against Ambiguously Gay Carpenter (Dan. Really, that's his name... the Girlfriend says his gayness is not so ambiguous, she's probably right.) So she was up against Dan because her and Dan had some weird thing where she gave him $10,000 but said $5,000 or something like that, and he bought a $10,000 gazebo and screwed everything up, or something like that. It may have been the most confusing thing I've ever seen on reality TV... and there's been some confusing stuff. I just tried to find a clip of it, because it's totally out of control, but I couldn't find one... I might recommend watching this episode simply for that, I really can't do it justice. I'll transcribe what I remember about it;
Dull Woman #1: "How much do you need for the gazebo"
Dan: "$5,000"
DW1: "OK. here's $10,000... How much did I give you?"
Dan: "$5,000"
DW1:"OK, so you've got $10,000 there, right?"
Dan: "Yeah"
DW1: "OK, you've got $5,000 for the gazebo, you think that's enough?"
Dan: "I'm sure a gazebo won't cost more than $5,000"
That's seriously how it went -or at least a decent representation. The point is, they were dealing in cash!!! They were holding the cash in their hands the whole time!!! Never once did anyone just count the cash!!!
Anyway, Dull woman #1 got sent home. Also, the two women judges want to get at it with Antonio, Vern Yip wants to get at it with Dan. Dull woman #2 stands no chance.
In other news, we watched Hell's Kitchen last night. Love the hell's kitchen. Tonight was the obligatory "taste test challenge". I'm pleased to say -as someone who's watched several season's of Hell's Kitchen- that Gord-o seems to have finally caught on that it's a funny challenge, or he was drunk. Either way, the chefs come up blind-folded and Gord-o feeds them something and they have to guess what it is. They rarely get it right, and when it's wrong it's usually ridiculously wrong -example: Andy, aka "Next guy sent home" was given avocado, he guessed it was "Boiled Coconut". Odd, I have no idea what boiled coconut would even taste like. You know because it's hard to find. You know, because no one, in the history of boiling things, has ever boiled a coconut. Or maybe they have -I don't care, this is my blog.
So the women won and got to go on an "eating in the dark" lunch with Gord-o. Amanda fell on Gord-o (or pretended to fall) and "copped a feel". I think that plays in later. Nothing else worth mentioning happened during lunch.
The men's punishment was to make sorbet and bring in a shipment. I started out thinking that it seemed like the women's reward and the men's punishment were weaker than their counter part's of last week, and was going to make some crack about Gord-o being a misogynist, but then I remembered that one of the men almost died on a punishment just a few weeks ago. So I decided to leave that one alone.
So dinner service was dinner service -Oh! did I mention that the "palette cleansing sorbet" that the men made and the teams were serving between courses was a "Hell's Kitchen first"? That's two weeks in a row! Maybe three, I don't like to remember crap that doesn't matter. So, yeah, dinner services could essentially be traded out for each other, and with the right editing, no one would ever know. I'll say this about it; The women lost and it was someone's fault. We'll call her "the outsider" because no one likes her -including the producers apparently, because the whole thing was edited to make her look way worse than she could have actually been. Also, I don't remember her name.
Dave "I forgot where I am" BeanieHat (that's his full name) was anointed as the "best of the best, and Whoopi Goldberg was the "best of the worst." Whoopi was way excited about that. She put up The Outsider and Chubby Blonde Girl, but Gord-o decided to add a third -Side note to Gord-o: Seriously, we all get that you're in charge, and it's great! But continuously having them vote on two people then bringing a third up a) wastes their time and b) puts into question the integrity of the process... just something to think about. So Gord-o added Amanda because she tried to cop a feel in the dark luncheon. Then Gord-O sent Amanda home because she wouldn't follow through on the copping a feel -too far? I don't care, it's my blog. Anyway, next week, there's... umm... more cooking. Comcast cut out during the previews for next week. I won't lose any sleep.
Note: "Glee" on Fox is re-airing the pilot that it aired a few months ago... if you didn't see it, watch it, I think this could be a legitimately good show. Also, if you haven't seen it, watch the 3rd season of Arrested Development. I'm pretty sure when they made it, they knew they were getting canceled, it's legitimately bizarre.
OMG! Almost forgot!!! No more Dating in the Dark! I know, right?!
I saw this on CBC last night while watching Jeopardy (clearly America's missing the boat on TV ads)
I know, logic dictates that if I'm sitting at home all day on the couch, I should be able to throw some witty observations together, embed a clever YouTube clip and call it good. Logic dictates as much, but I do what I want!
So I've watched some stuff lately. The Girlfriend and I went to see Julie and Julia (or Julia and Julie... I don't know). It was OK. I thought about writing about it, but I don't care. So there you are. I will say this: Meryl Streep may be the best actor we have right now. Her half was incredible. The other half... not so much. It was all about some self absorbed nobody with such a complete misunderstanding of her place in the world that she thought people actually cared about her blog... oh.
Also, Design Star was on Sunday night, of course I didn't watch it until Monday because of aforementioned flu -yet I'm writing through the flu right now... I'm like Micheal Jordan! Anyway, it was a really boring episode... like really boring. Here's what I got: Dull woman #1 (or#2, I don't remember! The one that had to have been in weird Texan child beauty pageants as a young girl) Dull woman #1 got the boot. She was up against Ambiguously Gay Carpenter (Dan. Really, that's his name... the Girlfriend says his gayness is not so ambiguous, she's probably right.) So she was up against Dan because her and Dan had some weird thing where she gave him $10,000 but said $5,000 or something like that, and he bought a $10,000 gazebo and screwed everything up, or something like that. It may have been the most confusing thing I've ever seen on reality TV... and there's been some confusing stuff. I just tried to find a clip of it, because it's totally out of control, but I couldn't find one... I might recommend watching this episode simply for that, I really can't do it justice. I'll transcribe what I remember about it;
Dull Woman #1: "How much do you need for the gazebo"
Dan: "$5,000"
DW1: "OK. here's $10,000... How much did I give you?"
Dan: "$5,000"
DW1:"OK, so you've got $10,000 there, right?"
Dan: "Yeah"
DW1: "OK, you've got $5,000 for the gazebo, you think that's enough?"
Dan: "I'm sure a gazebo won't cost more than $5,000"
That's seriously how it went -or at least a decent representation. The point is, they were dealing in cash!!! They were holding the cash in their hands the whole time!!! Never once did anyone just count the cash!!!
Anyway, Dull woman #1 got sent home. Also, the two women judges want to get at it with Antonio, Vern Yip wants to get at it with Dan. Dull woman #2 stands no chance.
In other news, we watched Hell's Kitchen last night. Love the hell's kitchen. Tonight was the obligatory "taste test challenge". I'm pleased to say -as someone who's watched several season's of Hell's Kitchen- that Gord-o seems to have finally caught on that it's a funny challenge, or he was drunk. Either way, the chefs come up blind-folded and Gord-o feeds them something and they have to guess what it is. They rarely get it right, and when it's wrong it's usually ridiculously wrong -example: Andy, aka "Next guy sent home" was given avocado, he guessed it was "Boiled Coconut". Odd, I have no idea what boiled coconut would even taste like. You know because it's hard to find. You know, because no one, in the history of boiling things, has ever boiled a coconut. Or maybe they have -I don't care, this is my blog.
So the women won and got to go on an "eating in the dark" lunch with Gord-o. Amanda fell on Gord-o (or pretended to fall) and "copped a feel". I think that plays in later. Nothing else worth mentioning happened during lunch.
The men's punishment was to make sorbet and bring in a shipment. I started out thinking that it seemed like the women's reward and the men's punishment were weaker than their counter part's of last week, and was going to make some crack about Gord-o being a misogynist, but then I remembered that one of the men almost died on a punishment just a few weeks ago. So I decided to leave that one alone.
So dinner service was dinner service -Oh! did I mention that the "palette cleansing sorbet" that the men made and the teams were serving between courses was a "Hell's Kitchen first"? That's two weeks in a row! Maybe three, I don't like to remember crap that doesn't matter. So, yeah, dinner services could essentially be traded out for each other, and with the right editing, no one would ever know. I'll say this about it; The women lost and it was someone's fault. We'll call her "the outsider" because no one likes her -including the producers apparently, because the whole thing was edited to make her look way worse than she could have actually been. Also, I don't remember her name.
Dave "I forgot where I am" BeanieHat (that's his full name) was anointed as the "best of the best, and Whoopi Goldberg was the "best of the worst." Whoopi was way excited about that. She put up The Outsider and Chubby Blonde Girl, but Gord-o decided to add a third -Side note to Gord-o: Seriously, we all get that you're in charge, and it's great! But continuously having them vote on two people then bringing a third up a) wastes their time and b) puts into question the integrity of the process... just something to think about. So Gord-o added Amanda because she tried to cop a feel in the dark luncheon. Then Gord-O sent Amanda home because she wouldn't follow through on the copping a feel -too far? I don't care, it's my blog. Anyway, next week, there's... umm... more cooking. Comcast cut out during the previews for next week. I won't lose any sleep.
Note: "Glee" on Fox is re-airing the pilot that it aired a few months ago... if you didn't see it, watch it, I think this could be a legitimately good show. Also, if you haven't seen it, watch the 3rd season of Arrested Development. I'm pretty sure when they made it, they knew they were getting canceled, it's legitimately bizarre.
OMG! Almost forgot!!! No more Dating in the Dark! I know, right?!
I saw this on CBC last night while watching Jeopardy (clearly America's missing the boat on TV ads)
Monday, August 24, 2009
Design Star's gayness just became slightly less overt
R.I.P slightly overweight gay Will Ferrel character. You will be missed. Mostly by the girlfriend, though I was a fan too.
This was an entertaining week on Design Star. Each contestant had their own project this week -Quote from the very odd British host "This week, you'll be working in teams of.""One."
They were given a carpenter and expected to "host" the remodel (they presented the room HGTV style, on camera, to the judges). Everyone got a "Child's room". Weird setup, though. Two contestant got 17 year-old's bedrooms. The Aforementioned Jason, and bland woman #1. Jason's 17 year old girl wanted a "pretty pretty princess room". I actually missed that whole thing, I thought she said she wanted "elegant" or something like that. But both the Girlfriend and Jason heard "Princess room". In a pretty hilarious sequence, gay Will Ferrel left his carpenter to tape and prime the walls -I have to assume he was gone at least an hour, maybe two, but when he got back the carpenter was standing in the middle of the room holding a clipboard. Nothing had been done. So Jason fired him and got a new carpenter in what seemed like a ridiculously short turn around -I'm pretty sure they found these guys betting on cock-fighting in a Home Depot parking lot and had a bunch of them backstage in case this happened.
Bland woman #1 got the 17 year old boy who likes baseball and hardwood floors. That's all. Oh, and his friends hang out there. She actually did a pretty good job, and is bland in just the right way that she could actually pull this off, despite the fact that I'd rather watch How it's Made -How it's Made is that stock-footage show that the Discovery channel runs during off hours. It shows how various things are made; Hockey pads, Twinkies, stock footage documentary shows, etc... The point being, she's very boring.
There were also two 7 year old girls who -as far as I could tell- were the same person, except one was an "environmentalist" and the other wanted an "artist's loft". Someone needs to crush those girl's spirits FAST. Anyway, Bland lady #2 got the Artist. Bland lady #2 is what happens to the little Texan girls from Toddlers and Tiaras when they grow up -that is to say, she's what happens to the ones that don't grow up to be strippers. Side note; Toddlers and Tiara's was, again, a magnificent train wreck of a show this week, though it's not nearly as good when they're in California as when they're in Texas, I know; duh. Anyway, Bland lady #2 lived up to her name, except a ridiculous fabric wall with the girl's name in big letters- Quoth the girlfriend "How funny would it be if she spelled the little girl's name wrong?" Answer -very funny. Very funny indeed. She didn't though. She just sucked.
Big eye-lash dream-boat carpenter got the other 7 year-old girl and was really excited to meet her. Really? She was an environmentalist. Apparently no one in the house throws anything away without her approval -I'm sure she's not insufferable in the least. She wanted an "eco-friendly" room. From where I stand there's not a whole lot you can do in the realm of unnecessary remodels that is particularly eco-friendly. Really, isn't the most eco-friendly thing to not use any materials at all? Of course what they mean is "More eco-friendly than another way we could have done it". And by that definition I'll concede that it was eco-friendly. For instance, they used Bamboo flooring... everywhere, on the desk, on the floor, everywhere that bamboo flooring could be used and not look totally ridiculous. Also, cutting the legs off of her dresser and spray painting it is eco-friendly. I have nothing more to say about it.
Finally, our design-carpenter from Jersey got a 5 year-old boy who had, apparently, been given 5 Red-Bulls prior to the taping. At one point, ummm... let's call him Antonio, that works for a Jersey Design-Carpenter, right? At one point Antonio was asking the little boy/future president about his interests. Apparently the little boy was interested in using his tongue to stop the twirling blades on what appeared to be a battery powered toy helicopter. I can't possibly do it justice in writing, if only I were a poet. Anyway, the kid was out of control, but seemed to like dinosaurs and spaghetti. Antonio did a good job with absolutely no guidelines, there were some fake rocks and dinosaurs, the kid liked it... there you go.
Overall, I thought it was an odd challenge; a) I think it would be an odd child, aged 5-17, that would register a complaint with the room remodel; b) the age ranges 5, 7, 17, are three totally different scenarios. Maybe different enough to be three different challenges; And c) Four of the contestants were in one house, one of the Bland women (I think #1) was in a separate house, does it matter? dunno, but I thought it was worth mentioning.
When all was said and done it was, in fact, the blonde judge who came out ahead in this episode with two fantastic lines; First, she told Antonio -Note, I don't think that's his name- that he was "the Tony Soprano of design" then did the worst stereotypical Jersey/Italian accent in the history of stereotypical Jersey/Italian accents. Second after Jason's outburst of "I'm SO gay!" she responds with something along the lines of "You're just a little cream-puff! I want to carry you around in my purse and snack on you!!"... classic.
I'd love to leave you with a clip of our future president and his helicopter. Alas, I couldn't find any. So I'll leave you with this; Groundbreaking? No. Old News? Yes. Of questionable taste? Oh yes. Still, it makes me giggle, and I'm still all excited that I can embed youtube videos in my blog.
This was an entertaining week on Design Star. Each contestant had their own project this week -Quote from the very odd British host "This week, you'll be working in teams of."
They were given a carpenter and expected to "host" the remodel (they presented the room HGTV style, on camera, to the judges). Everyone got a "Child's room". Weird setup, though. Two contestant got 17 year-old's bedrooms. The Aforementioned Jason, and bland woman #1. Jason's 17 year old girl wanted a "pretty pretty princess room". I actually missed that whole thing, I thought she said she wanted "elegant" or something like that. But both the Girlfriend and Jason heard "Princess room". In a pretty hilarious sequence, gay Will Ferrel left his carpenter to tape and prime the walls -I have to assume he was gone at least an hour, maybe two, but when he got back the carpenter was standing in the middle of the room holding a clipboard. Nothing had been done. So Jason fired him and got a new carpenter in what seemed like a ridiculously short turn around -I'm pretty sure they found these guys betting on cock-fighting in a Home Depot parking lot and had a bunch of them backstage in case this happened.
Bland woman #1 got the 17 year old boy who likes baseball and hardwood floors. That's all. Oh, and his friends hang out there. She actually did a pretty good job, and is bland in just the right way that she could actually pull this off, despite the fact that I'd rather watch How it's Made -How it's Made is that stock-footage show that the Discovery channel runs during off hours. It shows how various things are made; Hockey pads, Twinkies, stock footage documentary shows, etc... The point being, she's very boring.
There were also two 7 year old girls who -as far as I could tell- were the same person, except one was an "environmentalist" and the other wanted an "artist's loft". Someone needs to crush those girl's spirits FAST. Anyway, Bland lady #2 got the Artist. Bland lady #2 is what happens to the little Texan girls from Toddlers and Tiaras when they grow up -that is to say, she's what happens to the ones that don't grow up to be strippers. Side note; Toddlers and Tiara's was, again, a magnificent train wreck of a show this week, though it's not nearly as good when they're in California as when they're in Texas, I know; duh. Anyway, Bland lady #2 lived up to her name, except a ridiculous fabric wall with the girl's name in big letters- Quoth the girlfriend "How funny would it be if she spelled the little girl's name wrong?" Answer -very funny. Very funny indeed. She didn't though. She just sucked.
Big eye-lash dream-boat carpenter got the other 7 year-old girl and was really excited to meet her. Really? She was an environmentalist. Apparently no one in the house throws anything away without her approval -I'm sure she's not insufferable in the least. She wanted an "eco-friendly" room. From where I stand there's not a whole lot you can do in the realm of unnecessary remodels that is particularly eco-friendly. Really, isn't the most eco-friendly thing to not use any materials at all? Of course what they mean is "More eco-friendly than another way we could have done it". And by that definition I'll concede that it was eco-friendly. For instance, they used Bamboo flooring... everywhere, on the desk, on the floor, everywhere that bamboo flooring could be used and not look totally ridiculous. Also, cutting the legs off of her dresser and spray painting it is eco-friendly. I have nothing more to say about it.
Finally, our design-carpenter from Jersey got a 5 year-old boy who had, apparently, been given 5 Red-Bulls prior to the taping. At one point, ummm... let's call him Antonio, that works for a Jersey Design-Carpenter, right? At one point Antonio was asking the little boy/future president about his interests. Apparently the little boy was interested in using his tongue to stop the twirling blades on what appeared to be a battery powered toy helicopter. I can't possibly do it justice in writing, if only I were a poet. Anyway, the kid was out of control, but seemed to like dinosaurs and spaghetti. Antonio did a good job with absolutely no guidelines, there were some fake rocks and dinosaurs, the kid liked it... there you go.
Overall, I thought it was an odd challenge; a) I think it would be an odd child, aged 5-17, that would register a complaint with the room remodel; b) the age ranges 5, 7, 17, are three totally different scenarios. Maybe different enough to be three different challenges; And c) Four of the contestants were in one house, one of the Bland women (I think #1) was in a separate house, does it matter? dunno, but I thought it was worth mentioning.
When all was said and done it was, in fact, the blonde judge who came out ahead in this episode with two fantastic lines; First, she told Antonio -Note, I don't think that's his name- that he was "the Tony Soprano of design" then did the worst stereotypical Jersey/Italian accent in the history of stereotypical Jersey/Italian accents. Second after Jason's outburst of "I'm SO gay!" she responds with something along the lines of "You're just a little cream-puff! I want to carry you around in my purse and snack on you!!"... classic.
I'd love to leave you with a clip of our future president and his helicopter. Alas, I couldn't find any. So I'll leave you with this; Groundbreaking? No. Old News? Yes. Of questionable taste? Oh yes. Still, it makes me giggle, and I'm still all excited that I can embed youtube videos in my blog.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Some thoughts on things
The inevitable decline in post frequency happened much quicker than I had assumed it would... such is the way of things.
Part of the issue is that there is very little good TV on. Another part of the issue is that I can't help but feel that keeping a note-pad with me to write down witty thoughts for a blog nobody reads while I watch TV with my girlfriend would make me a huge douche-bag.
As such, for the time being, I feel like there's going to be a lot of blogging about nothing in particular.In that spirit, we move forward! TV!;
First off, I'm tickled by the return of Hell's Kitchen. So much anger! So much smoking! At this point I'm convinced that all chefs listen to Kid Rock, Smoke two packs a day, and have decals on their car/truck of Calvin peeing on either "tweekers" or a NASCAR car number. Does this make me classist? Yes. Yes it does... but this isn't about me, it's about the fact that this season of Hell's Kitchen features Whoopi Goldberg and the return of Ralphie (is that really his name? I feel like I might be making that up. Also, what's the over/under on how many episodes he lasts before causing or experiencing a serious medical problem? Does this make me a fattist?). Also, this week we get a special guest of honor...that special guest of honor?!? Some lady!!! That's right, the special guest is no one in particular. Her husband appears to be a marine(?) but other than that, she has no specific characteristic that separates her from anyone else. Let's make her some dinner! Last thing before I move on; apparently next week Whoopi tells chef Ramsey that he's "Crap"! I'm on the edge of my seat!
I love reality TV... and reality TV loves people in the military. Really... they love doing whatever it is their show does for people in the military. Because they're heroes. And there's a lot of them. Design Star this week takes on the living-room of two military families. One of them has a father abroad, and the other one likes video games. I have nothing else to say about this week's episode as I haven't finished it yet, but I can -with confidence- say that this show is fantastic! Three things to watch for 1) The guy doing his best "Will Ferrel as a slightly overweight ambiguously gay man" impression 2) The guy from Jersey (I don't know when it happened, but approximately 1/3 of the population is now from Jersey. It's know in the scientific comunity as the the "Red Sox Fan phenomenon") 3) The ridiculous product placement -in fact, this is commonplace throughout HGTV, and consistently awkward throughout HGTV... well worth any time you put into it. One more important point about this, and this applies to "Toddlers in Tiaras" too -also highly recommended- as this show is on a cable channel, it is much more respectable than any similar show on network TV -Case in point Hell's Kitchen v. Top Chef.
A couple notes on recent movies:
- District 9 is fantastic! Contains no disappointment... FAN-Tastic!- So I know I'm the last horse to cross the finish line on this one, but I saw Marley and Me last night, or at least a good portion of it... so there's a part in the middle that's -seriously- like 10 minutes of Owen Wilson speaking in sentence fragments over a montage of their life with the dog... It's like the film was originally an hour and 45 minutes too long, and to deal with this they took a two hour chunk of the movie, made it into a montage and had Owen Wilson narrate it... but then the movie was still 35 minutes too long, so they cut the first half of every sentence of Owen's narration. Too far fetched? I challenge you to watch the movie again with my theory in mind, it's the only answer that makes any sense!
Also, I get these Wiki-how's on my home page for just such occasions as this; This one should be titled "How to be make choices your grandparents would be ashamed of" or "How to become the punchline of an amusing anecdote":
http://www.wikihow.com/Convince-a-Girl-to-Buy-You-a-Drink
Part of the issue is that there is very little good TV on. Another part of the issue is that I can't help but feel that keeping a note-pad with me to write down witty thoughts for a blog nobody reads while I watch TV with my girlfriend would make me a huge douche-bag.
As such, for the time being, I feel like there's going to be a lot of blogging about nothing in particular.In that spirit, we move forward! TV!;
First off, I'm tickled by the return of Hell's Kitchen. So much anger! So much smoking! At this point I'm convinced that all chefs listen to Kid Rock, Smoke two packs a day, and have decals on their car/truck of Calvin peeing on either "tweekers" or a NASCAR car number. Does this make me classist? Yes. Yes it does... but this isn't about me, it's about the fact that this season of Hell's Kitchen features Whoopi Goldberg and the return of Ralphie (is that really his name? I feel like I might be making that up. Also, what's the over/under on how many episodes he lasts before causing or experiencing a serious medical problem? Does this make me a fattist?). Also, this week we get a special guest of honor...
I love reality TV... and reality TV loves people in the military. Really... they love doing whatever it is their show does for people in the military. Because they're heroes. And there's a lot of them. Design Star this week takes on the living-room of two military families. One of them has a father abroad, and the other one likes video games. I have nothing else to say about this week's episode as I haven't finished it yet, but I can -with confidence- say that this show is fantastic! Three things to watch for 1) The guy doing his best "Will Ferrel as a slightly overweight ambiguously gay man" impression 2) The guy from Jersey (I don't know when it happened, but approximately 1/3 of the population is now from Jersey. It's know in the scientific comunity as the the "Red Sox Fan phenomenon") 3) The ridiculous product placement -in fact, this is commonplace throughout HGTV, and consistently awkward throughout HGTV... well worth any time you put into it. One more important point about this, and this applies to "Toddlers in Tiaras" too -also highly recommended- as this show is on a cable channel, it is much more respectable than any similar show on network TV -Case in point Hell's Kitchen v. Top Chef.
A couple notes on recent movies:
- District 9 is fantastic! Contains no disappointment... FAN-Tastic!- So I know I'm the last horse to cross the finish line on this one, but I saw Marley and Me last night, or at least a good portion of it... so there's a part in the middle that's -seriously- like 10 minutes of Owen Wilson speaking in sentence fragments over a montage of their life with the dog... It's like the film was originally an hour and 45 minutes too long, and to deal with this they took a two hour chunk of the movie, made it into a montage and had Owen Wilson narrate it... but then the movie was still 35 minutes too long, so they cut the first half of every sentence of Owen's narration. Too far fetched? I challenge you to watch the movie again with my theory in mind, it's the only answer that makes any sense!
Also, I get these Wiki-how's on my home page for just such occasions as this; This one should be titled "How to be make choices your grandparents would be ashamed of" or "How to become the punchline of an amusing anecdote":
http://www.wikihow.com/Convince-a-Girl-to-Buy-You-a-Drink
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